Monday, September 12, 2005
Monday. A whole new week. A week no different from the last. Yesterday has become today's memory. Emotions from yesterday flow once again today. Whats new coming from me~
Seriously, i have quite enough of friends discarding gd fren or even best fren aside once they have bf or patch back with bf. Its pretty obvious who im referring to. But Yes, i have enough. Maybe im the unlucky one who's always single , thus giving the image of always being available for friends. This is the part i HATE. I get to experience being thrown aside MORE than anybody else ok ? I really dont know and really hate to say this but friends ? They do this to me more than strangers on the street i dont give a damn to. I already endured for so LONG till im going to burst anytime. Im NOT a spare tyre, dont come looking for me when you r not with ur bf. Maybe i shld get myself a bf and experience the "nice" feeling of throwing fren aside. Let me tell everybody here - The god damn feeling sucks ok ? Thats why im indulging myself with work and not meeting up with friends or even meeting friends im not "that" close with. Sometimes i find it even happier and worry-free when i meet up with my ex-colleagues in Starhub. Nothing to worry, no terms and conditions and say what you want. Nowadays, i really find it hard to say how i really feel in front of anybody includin my friends. Because whatever i say seems to hurt them when im already hurt inside. I can no longer be honest. How do you expect me to be honest ? Dont come telling me its ok, you can tell me. Cause its never ok. I dont have the kind of mood to say what i really think. Im really sad to see KL sad over friends issue. I know it hurts her alot to be good fren with ppl and helping them, listening to them whenever they got prob. But when their problems are solved, they just throw her aside, never really caring abt her. Let me make it clear, this is call MAKING use of friends and ABUSING friends' priviledge. And its SO hard to gain back that kind of trust and friendship once you do it once and over again. Really ! Its damn sickening ok.
People. Stop asking me why my nick's always so sad and why my entries are so sadistic and pessimistic. Let me answer one last time. Im NOT happy but neither am i VERY sad. Im just always in a lousy mood when i blog or should i say i blog when im not happy.
Last saturday i pop over to RY hse to use the comp cause as everyone knows by now, my bloody comp is down. Freaking stupid comp. Not long after, KN pop by too. We stayed a while be4 i head for movie @ Cine while KN went to her fren's chalet. Caught the movie "Red Eye" with devil & Regine. It wasnt that bad considering its not too short nor draggy. Just nice. After movie, we went to sit down @ Paragon to talk awhile. Headed home @ 3 plus. Im happy on that day.
Today's 12 Sept 05.
Happy 19th Birthday Meiyun~
Many things happened after we known each other. Our friendship tested again and again. Till now, we have survived. Hopefully it will last.. Anyway, its your birthday and enjoy celebrating with your family and sheldon. Though we wont be celebrating with you, we still hope you will have fun. Best wishes and take loads of care~ =)
Illusions shattered once again.. Pieces of illusions cut real deep into my heart leaving me no chance to live. Reality's killing me.
