Thursday, January 26, 2006
work was changed to 6am yesterday. a whole day of doing nothing actually. rest and relax. walked down to pavilion lots of times to find KN. talked about her finding a job and so on. after work we went to town to walk around and i bought a necklace. =]
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something is wrong between us. you feel more than i do nowadays. you get more sensitive than i am these days. think about US more now. whereas, things seemed to have changed somehow. i really dont know what to do when you expect things from me, not material stuffs. you know and i know. now you are the one trying to talk our problems, i know i seems to be nonchalant and have no care. but you have no idea how much all this is bothering me, its to the extent of suffocating and killing me and i have to act as if nothing happened. i know you have changed alot for me, your brothers feel it so do my friends think so. its not that i dont know but i just dont know what to say sometimes. now i don't even know how i feel. i know you have been trying hard to make me meet your parents, i know you are serious, i know how you feel. i know everything but i choose not to show it. im so worried that i might not love you the way you love me. we have been talking about things in the future, not positive things though. question like : whether we will still be friends or enemies if we were to break up. even your brothers are thinking that we will break up soon enough. i really need to think over about us but its definitely NOT because of what your brothers or any other people is saying. you know i never cared about what other people say, what matters is us. im afraid one day if we really were to breakup for the best of the both of us, you will change back to same old isaac i used to know. which really isn't a good thing. sometimes i really don't like it when you are angry that i go out on my own with my friends and never meet you but yes, i do know that its all because you care. i need to think carefully really. its really hard. i have been struggling not to blog this out, not to say anything out but im really bursting. haii
friends. do me a favour. dont ask ok. i just need a space to vent everything out. i dont want anyone to go asking or telling him anything.
