Tuesday, August 26, 2008
life is always full of choices that you've to make,
you've to choose what to eat and where to go each day,
and when it comes to matters of the heart,
there are choices and sacrifices to be made,
yet there's never a perfectly right choice.
in my nearly 22 yrs of life,
i've made many choices,
small to big in a way affecting my life and
some produced great results and some turned out to be wrong,
sacrifices were made and life still went on.
regrets definitely haunts each and every one of you,
and i was never spared either.
i've learnt that regrets are always tad too late,
and when one has lived with too much regrets in their life,
they tend to be think a lot 'bout what they really want
and go for it with whatever they have.
this time round,
i tried with whatever i had and done things i never thought i would ever do,
regardless how people will think of me being foolish or whatsoever,
i still tried,
at least i know when i look back "now" in the future,
i've no regrets,
i might even laugh at myself for being silly.
but right now,
i just want to make sure i don't regret in the future for not trying hard enough.
yes.
i might have gotten my heart broken again,
when you would rather choose option A,
perhaps i was right not to pin high hopes that you would choose option B.
nobody can ever have the best of both worlds,
love is selfish and there's only room for one,
you chose responsibility over love,
you made your choice,
yet i couldn't bear the pain.
sometimes i just forgot to breathe while thinking,
and try to catch my breath afterwards
you might say i was not putting myself in your shoes,
but i've been there done that,
might not have been totally the same but if given the same scenario,
i will choose option C- make a clean break and be open 'bout who you really want to be with.
so have you put yourself in my shoes and think,
how am i feeling right now?
to wait for an answer so hard to come by,
to refrain from tearing after hearing the choice you made,
to act like nothing has happened,
to turn from "the only one" to somewhat like a third party,
to try and stop touching the finger where the ring used to be,
to try and stop touching the spot on the neck where the necklace used to be,
to try hard to stop tearing while packing all the photos and gifts into a box,
to keep telling myself that you still love me,
to keep putting up a strong front,
to keep putting myself in your shoes,
to even able to forgive all these things,
turn the tables around, switch our roles around
and ask yourself,
are you able to do the same and continue waiting ?
right now,
i only know one thing.
if i really love someone,
nobody else matters as much.
i won't care much 'bout the sacrifices that have to be made
because i know it's worth it.
but we might not be on the same frequency,
what i think might not be what you believe in,
i still stay firm.
silly i know.
No more indulging in liquor to numb the heart, (i've to bear the after effects myself)
No more crying my heart out, (someone who loves me won't make me keep crying)
No more of speaking up from now on, (it never works from my experiences)
because time never waits,
and i can't bring myself to be depressed and just heck my job and studies,
i'm just not her and i don't need to be like her.
since i'm not the only one anymore,
then let it be.
i've done my part and said my piece.
agree or disagree,
it's 'bout choices again.
quoted from the day i designed the banner above,
"this simple thing called love",
ain't simple anymore.
or is it just that i don't deserve to have this simple love anymore.
P.S. Why did you have to sink my heart deeper and deeper into emptiness?
i might wait yet might not.
distance will be kept
the losing end of the gamble
